sex changes everything. *you can never get him out of your head* i cant deal with the pain right now. it shouldnt be like this. its supposed to be something wonderful. its supposed to bring two people together. why does it feel like its just tearing me apart. i hate that everyone can see the hurt on my face. i dont have to cry to look like there is something wrong. i have this awful hurt in the bottom of my stomach. i disapointed myself. i disapointed him..everyone else. *i'm suffocating. we come crashing down everytime we go this far again* i dont know how much longer i can live with myself.